Jealousy, The Application

Some practical applications of my ongoing struggle with jealousy in regards to:

attention

possessions

happiness

experiences

abilities

1. Confess a competitive spirit. While it is difficult to always know what our motives are, I need to be quick to repent when this motive rears its ugly head. When I get that little bitterness feeling when someone gets the laughs and I don't, when other people have what I don't, when other people are happy and I'm not, when other people can do things and I can't, I need to confess that. Repentance of this must be quick and regular.

2. Develop an appreciation for the gifts that God has given to you. If you are a Christian, God has gifted you. True, in your area of gifting, you will find others more gifted than you. For instance, if I think my gifting is music, I will find others more gifted than me in the area of music (see: Bob Kauflin, Andrew Papillon, Animal from the Muppets, and William Hung). But, that's not the point. The point isn't that God make us the greatest at music, sports, preaching, or whatever. The point isn't to be the greatest, but to serve the One who is the greatest. Our gifts are not to bring honor to ourselves, but to the One to whom honor is due. Jealousy takes root when we think that we should be God (see: the greatest worship leader who ever lived--Lucifer).

3. Pay attention to your own house. If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, then water your lawn. Meaning: Be content. If you are jealous of what you perceive are better parents in another family, stop. Cultivate godly relationships with your own folks. If you are jealous of Tim's abilities on piano, stop. Start practicing the piano. Don't mope. Don't sit on your duff. Don't whine. Work.

4. Glory in the success of others. Of course, live for the glory of God. But its OK to appreciate, build up, praise, encourage, help, show honor to, and glory in the success of others. When someone does a good job, give thanks to God and tell them they did a good job. When someone has fun, is brimming over with happiness, and wants that joy to spill over to you, you don't have to:

A: Be lame

B: Be critical

C: Be a killjoy

D: All of the above (Read: Be jealous)

Rejoice with those who rejoice.

The hardest time for me to praise someone else is when they are good at something that I'm good at.

Superficial example: If we are playing a game of football, at least in most crowds, I think I would make a pretty good quarterback. If someone else plays quarterback (and does well), it is hard for me to praise that person. I get jealous and I don't want to give him or (heaven forbid) her that praise, because I think it should go to me.

Slightly more serious example: When I hear other people teach, I (sometimes) get jealous. I want others to praise my teaching instead of someone else's. This is sin.

5. Ask God to help you see yourself realistically. This is a great gift. To know how God has made you and to live within this. Let's keep with the football illustration (it is Pack vs Vikings week after all). If I am playing 5-on-5 football and I see that 8 of the other guys are better than me, I know some things: 1) I am going to request that I guard that 10th guy, 2) I am going to be the worst player on my team, 3) I shouldn't whine that I am not getting the ball every play--there are other players who are better and who should get it more.

This can go all kinds of directions, but the point is that we see ourselves realistically. I am not the body of Christ. I am part of the body of Christ. There are (a lot of) others who can do (a lot of) things better than me. A little humility will save us from (a lot of) sin.

God has endowed me with certain gifts--I don't need to be proud.

God has endowed others with certain gifts--I don't need to be jealous.

Booze, Worry, and Eternity

I'm a drunk. At least, comparatively I am. In Luke 21:34, Jesus equates drunkenness and worry. They are the same. How? They pull our focus from what is real.

When someone is drunk, they are intoxicated with alcohol. Alcohol has control over them and they do not act according to reality. People do all kinds of stupid (and harmful) things when drunk, because they are not thinking clearly about reality.

When someone worries, they are intoxicated with the cares of this life. The cares of this life have control over them and they do not live according to eternity. People do all kinds of stupid (and sinful) things when they worry, because they are not thinking clearly about eternity.

By the grace of God, I have never been drunk. Fortunately, my perspective of reality has never been blurred by drunkenness.

By the grace of God, I am putting to death the sin of worry. Unfortunately, my perspective of eternity has been blurred by worry.

I worry about what people think of me. I worry about not finding a wife. I worry about not being good enough at my job. I worry about finishing school. I worry about the students in the youth group, if they will grow or if Satan will snatch away the seed.

The problem? Worry takes my perspective off of eternity and places it on me in the temporary.

I live to please God, not people. God will supply all my needs. It is God who works in me to will and to act according to His good purpose. It is God who knows the beginning and the end. It is God who is faithful to complete the work He started.

The verse implies that worry starts in our heart. Our hearts get weighed down and we worry. Our hearts care about this life. Our hearts seek the hand of God rather than the face of God. Our hearts are wicked and can't see eternity.

To Do List:

1 Guard my heart

2 Watch what I care about

3 Foster an affection for Jesus

4 Repent of an affection for yourself

What am I going to do with all the time I used to spend worrying?

Jesus tells us what to do instead of worrying: "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:33)

Signs I'm Depraved

Last week, I went to Portillo's restaurant with David Papillon to get a Chicago specialty: chocolate cake shakes. They are shakes with bits of chocolate cake in them. It may not sound good, but they are actually mentioned in Revelation as food that we'll have in the new earth (not really). If they had these shakes in Racine, I would be 500 pounds right now (really).

I went to pay for the shakes and noticed that a $20 dollar bill had fallen out of my wallet onto the ground. I began to think how glad I was that I saw the $20, otherwise I would have lost it. I slowly realized that I did not have a $20 dollar bill in my wallet to begin with. Meaning...I JUST FOUND $20 BUCKS!!!

I celebrated with David for a few seconds before my sin nature reared its ugly head. I had the following two sinful thoughts:

Area of Repentance #1: I began to think about 'what could have been'. What if it wasn't a twenty that I had found? What if it was a fifty? Or a hundred? Or a roll of hundreds? Or a huge backpack filled with millions of dollars?

How sinful! How greedy do I need to be? Rather than be content and thankful to God, I quickly rushed to my natural state of greed.

Area of Repentance #2: The sin of the love of money. How come I was seemingly more excited about finding $20 bucks (to see how excited I was, note how the finding of the money was all in caps) then I was about spending time with God that day? Or hearing about how God was working in David's life? Or about how salvation makes it possible for me to live with freedom and peace in this life, such that I can enjoy cake shakes at all without fear of condemnation?

How sinful! Psalm 19:10 says that God's Word is more precious than gold, then much pure gold. I want that to be true in my life.

So, what can I do? I repented and now I rejoice in this: "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Jealousy, The Solution

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"

--Psalm 37:4

I want the desires of my heart to be fulfilled. For these to be fulfilled, I must find my delight in God.

Why should God be my delight? How can I enjoy Him? Why should His every name, His every word, His every attribute, His every act be cause for greater delight?

Here's some ideas:

As to a jealousy for people's attention:

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may life you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." --1 Peter 5.6-7

When I lose myself in serving others, putting others before myself, and living a life of humility before God, I can be assured that He will lift me up in due time. I don't need to posit myself as the greatest in front of a crowd. I don't need to win the attention of fickle people. I don't need to constantly press to be at the forefront of the minds of others. God (who is infinitely wiser than me) will take care of that.

Problem: What about me? Instantly, my mind is thinking, "Well, if I am so busy meeting others needs, putting others before myself, and not parading myself, but humbly serving in the background, how are my needs going to get met? What about me!?!"

Answer: v. 7--Cast all your cares on God. I need to specifically pray those specific worries to Him. He cares for me, He loves me, He is working everything out for good. Don't worry about yourself, God knows, God watches, God cares.

As to a jealousy for possessions:

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. According to His great mercy, He has caused us to born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you." --1 Peter 1.3-4

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my Portion forever." --Psalm 73.26

God is my Portion. God has seen fit to give me what He has given me. Because of what He has done for me (see: mercy, new birth, Living Hope, resurrection), I have an inheritance. I have riches. I have all I could ever want. And guess what, unlike a 2010 Mustang, it won't rust (its imperishable), and unlike a new MacBook it won't break (its undefiled), and unlike an IPhone 3G S, it won't get outdated (its unfading).

As to a jealousy for happiness:

"Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." --1 Peter 1.8-9

"You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand." --Psalm 16.11

I have done some fun things in this life, but none of them has brought me inexpressible joy. A lot of joy? Yes. A lot of fun? Yes. A you-had-to-be-there kind of happiness? Yes. Inexpressible and filled with glory kind of joy? No. I thank God for happiness and I can enjoy things in this life only because of Him. But, true joy is found in the presence of God. True happiness is found in the gospel. As I delight in God, God promises inexpressible joy will be mine.

As to a jealousy for experiences:

"In this you rejoice, though now, for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." --1 Peter 1.6-7

I have a caring God. He brings me into situations where the Holy Spirit can refine me to look more like Christ. God, each and every day (and mostly through what I might consider to be the "mundane"), He is giving me experiences that cause me to be conformed to the image of Jesus. Too often I live as if 95% of my life is a boring hassle. I live life like a 'fun' junkie in search of my next fix, never satisfied until I get more and more 'fun'. I don't have to. Instead, I can delight in God and trust that every day the experiences and trials and highs and lows and fun and the mundane will result in the praise and honor and glory of Jesus one day.

As to a jealousy for abilities:

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace." --1 Peter 4.10

I am blessed to be able to serve in a church and a youth group. I am blessed to have received gifts that I can use to serve the church and bring glory to the name of Jesus. I tend to ignore my gifts, take them for granted, and want other gifts. Rather than try to satiate the never-ending thirst for more and better (if I was gifted with a guitar, I would want to be gifted with drums, then piano, then every other instrument, then with creative song-writing abilities, then with a great voice, then with recording abilities, then with production skills, then with... see, its unappeasable), I need to use what God has given me and serve.

The reason is in v.11--that in everything God (not Dan), might be glorified. Its all His anyways...I'm just blessed to have been given a stewardship.

Stop comparing and follow Christ.

Jealousy, The Problem

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"

--Psalm 37:4

I want the desires of my heart to be fulfilled. Sometimes, I think the desires of my heart are 2010 Ford Mustang convertible or a MacBook Pro or an IPhone 3G S. These are not the desires of my heart, these are objects (read: toys) that I could get in an attempt to meet the desires of my heart.

I have a desire to have people's attention on me. I want people to look at me, to notice me, to like me.

I have a desire to have things. I like having things and I like the security that comes from having things.

I have a desire for happiness. I don't like being unhappy. I like being happy--all the time.

I have a desire for good experiences. I don't like being sick. I don't like missing out on fun things when they happen. I like to say, "I've done that," "I've been there," and "I know that."

I have a desire for better abilities. I wish I has better skills. I was reminded recently that I wish I had some kind, any kind of musical skills.

What can I do?

1. Be Jealous. Wish I had all those desires met. Be envious of those who appear to have every desire met. Be bitter toward them. Covet what they have. Be frustrated (at myself, or other people, or even God) for not having my desires met.

2. Believe.